would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
