hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
