Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
