SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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