I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We got so high we made milksteak
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
