I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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