i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize