We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
