she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize