Soap is not a condiment
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
