Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
