Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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