Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
