Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
