What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
