I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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