i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize