I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Never underestimate the power of titties
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
