omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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