32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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