white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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