maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
