the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
