So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
