you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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