By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
