It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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