Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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