I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
