Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
