he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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