it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
