...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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