You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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