I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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