i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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