She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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