And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
