Who wears a wallet chain?!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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