Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
