me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
