I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
