there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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