i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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