Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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