therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize