I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize