you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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