Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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