after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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