I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So vagazzling was a success
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize