tell your sister to shave her snatch
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
