ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
