but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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