Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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