I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
now i know why i became what i already was.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize