If that was your dad, he is hot
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
